Grief
It struck me today, that I have spent half of my life grieving over my stillborn son. How did that happen? I was 29 then, and 58 now. That’s half my life!
Some years have been easier than others. For some reason this year has not been a good one. There have been days in February that I have just curled up under a duvet and slept. I can’t even say it was a hygge day, as no reading, film watching or hot chocolate was involved.
I came across this poem which sums it up nicely. Credit to Laura Ding-Edwards of Herefordshire
If the mountain seems too big today
then climb a hill instead
if the morning brings you sadness
then stay in bed instead
if the day ahead weighs heavy
and your plans feel like a curse
there’s no shame in rearranging
don’t make yourself feel worse
if a shower stings like needles
and a bath as if you’ll drown
if you haven’t washed your hair for days
don’t throw away your crown
a day is not a lifetime
a rest is not defeat
don’t think of it as failure
just a quiet nice retreat
it’s okay to take a moment
from an anxious fractured mind
the world will not stop turning
while you get realigned
the mountain will still be there
when you want to try again
you can climb it in your own time
just love yourself til then.
My mountain climbing training has taken a bit of a back seat, for a day or two. Tomorrow is the anniversary, and being a Tuesday, it should be a hill-walking day with the group. I will see how I feel, that is all I can hope for.
If you have been upset by this post, then please take care of yourself, and be kind to yourself.
Blessings
Joy
Finding Joy....... 