2021 Reflections

A facebook memory popped up today, and what with it being December 31st, it was a memory of a post that celebrated 2019. That was an eventful packed year, and it was lovely to reminisce on my achievements. This year feels as though I have slightly underachieved but perhaps I am being too harsh on myself.

I started 2021 taking a long hard look at myself and all things adoption. The year started well, when I found Ann Heffron’s Flourish group. How awesome was that, to participate in a group that was made up purely of adoptees? It started off well, but after 4 months, we parted ways, as I raced off into the sunset on my chariot, following a session where I apparently wasn’t liked for not going on a Thelma and Louise style journey in my head and ditching stuff that I no longer needed. I felt that I had already ditched stuff, that I had healed a lot from my adoption package, and that each question posed did not get the response that was expected. I wanted to continue to be a part of the group for the other adoptees, but honestly it was getting depressing. I can’t say I was sorry to leave, and it freed up Sunday afternoons to do other things. Along the way I had joined lots of facebook groups and read lots of blog posts on many aspects of adoption. I may dive back into that at some stage, I do still feel that I have a story to tell that I would like to get out there, but for now I remain grateful that I came across Paul Sunderland’s work, and I look forward to joining in a session in a few week’s time, that Zara Phillips has organised on “Development Trauma of Relinquishment” featuring the very lovely Paul himself.

2021 was the year that saw the decking finally finished….almost. We now have a glass balustrade round most of the sides, but we are still waiting for the handrail on the steps to go down into the garden to be fitted. It was also the year that I wrote more consistently, although daily has not happened, but there was a run of 100 days when I wrote a blog post each day. I continued to meet via zoom with my 2 buddies from the States who I met on the Hay House challenge. None of us are writing a book as I type but we are supporting each other in our chosen activities. One thing that we did agree on, i our last meeting of the year, was that New years dodn’t hold a lot of appeal to us. We all realsie the importance of NOW, that if we don’t like what we are doing, or where we are heading, then the time to change things is now, not at a magical midnight on one day of the year. Time is cyclical, seasonal. The clock rolls around, and for 1 night only the hand at midnight signifies the rolling round of a new year, but the day has exactly the same number of minutes and seconds in it as every other day and every other year. As it approaches now, in under 2 hours, I found myself alone, curled up on the sofa writing this, whilst my husband is curled up in bed suffering from a winter lurgy. It is probably the same lurgy that I have been suffering with the past week, meaning that I have failed miserably in meditating and contemplating with the chosen essential oil for this month. With the new moon coming in at 18.35 on Sunday 2nd Jan 2022 I endeavour to be more focussed. I need to be, by the time the next new moon arrives I shall have launched an online course entitled “Connecting Intimately with the Divine using Sacred and Precious Essential Oils”.

Have a Safe and Happy New Year when it arrives with you

Happy New Year 2022
Erasing word ‘mother’ is morally wrong

Erasing word ‘mother’ is morally wrong

Not my usual post, but thsi one is dear to my heart.


Midwife and mother @turtillachip says the Scottish Government’s rush for inclusion belittles one of humanity’s important roles

I write this while sitting in utter dismay and deep in thought at the newest step from our Scottish Government.

They have decided to erase the word mother to make it more inclusive for parents who do not wish to be called mother.

To call mothers people.

I can honestly say that, throughout this campaign on the erasure of women, this has to be one of the saddest, most utterly depressing decisions that Nicola Sturgeon and her government have come up with so far.

Every single person on earth was born of a mother

We all have a mother, every single person on this earth. Some may not know their mother, some may not be close to their mothers, but everyone, without exception, came from the body of a mother.

In my 22…

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Today’s Challenges in Flourish

4 months down and today was the start of a new topic in the flourish group. We have moved from ownership onto health. Now as a health professional of over 40 years, I understand health, in all it’s guises, and struggled with having it insinuated that as an adoptee I must make poor health choices and that must affect the world and the people around me.

I like to think that I have a fairly balanced healthy lifestyle. I eat relatively healthily. I could exercise more but I do do some. Is it enough? Possibly not. But I don’t feel guilty about not doing more, because if I did I would get up and do some. Now that we are in May, the days are getting longer, and we have had a few games of croquet. After the election on Thursday, I will hopefully have more time to focus on croquet and writing again.

I get enough sleep. I drink social amounts of alcohol, nay I seldom, infrequently, rarely. What is the word for 1 drink a week? Regularly? I regularly have one G&T a week. I don’t smoke cigarettes, cigars, or weed, nor do I vape. I don’t take any recreational or prescibed medications. I have a teaspoon of “Green Magic” most mornings along with Vit C and D. I have researched vaccinations and I make an informed decision not to have them. If I have a symptom of any sort, I try essential oils first. I haven’t seen a doctor for more than 14, since I moved to Scotland. And it was several years before moving, that I saw a doctor.

I decided a long time ago that if I wasn’t happy with my body, then I had a choice. If I could do something about it, then I would. So if I am not happy with my weight, I do something about it, but I don’t spend hours moaning about my weight, that is soul destroying. Neither do I wish I was taller, or had green eyes. There is no point in wasting energy wishing you were something else. I embrace what I have, as God’s creation.

At the moment I am spending more time on a device that I would like, but hopefully after Thurs this may change as I need to be in communication less with people than I am at the moment. Hope I can go back to working, writing and generally taking better care of myself.

I have a saying that I often say to my clients which says “You can’t pour from an empty pot”

On that note I am going to say goodnight as it is 10.30 pm here and I have work in the morning.

Another Day, Another Road Trip

Today is the last day of April, and the end of my aim to write 100 posts in 100 days. I started this in an effort to get into a routine of writing every day. My focus has been taken over by the upcoming election campaign and today was no different. Today I drove 30 miles to meet Mandy, another candidate and we ventured out to the source of the River Ayr. We took our banners and posters and staked our claim, in the name of Yahweh and freedom, that the creative force of the Spirit would sweep along the 44 miles of the river, as it flows to the sea, and washes people’s conscience to vote for change and vote for freedom on 6th May. As I drove home, back to Ayr and the mouth of the river I prayed as I went. It was an awesome day, blessed by the grace of Yahweh.

Heading to Outlander Country

Today I headed out to the small harbour in the village of Dunure on the South Ayrshire coast to do a little photo shoot. For any of my followers who are Outlander fans, Dunure was the setting for part of a story line where a ship sets sail. It is usually a bustling little place but today it was very quiet, with just a handful of people sitting outside the cafe with a beverage and snack, trying to keep warm from the biting chill. The recent lockdown appears to have hit the village hard, although no-one was willing to talk to us about the toll that it had had on their business. In fact they seemed very fearful of us even being there with our smiling faces. Which was a pity because the little gift shop had some lovely things and we were going to spend our hard earned cash there, but they asked us to leave, so we didn’t get to buy a momento of our trip to Dunure. I have to make do with my photos instead.

Tomorrow will be another town, or village, or maybe even the head of the River Ayr, who knows.

Blessings and Joy, Joy

In Praise Of Adoption

My thanks to Deborah for this post. I alerted her to it and as I am rather busy on the campaign trail at the moment, a quick reblog is my post for today. I have missed one day out of my 100 posts in 100 days, but seeing as I have managed two or even three on some days, I am still on track even if there is a wee cheat every now and again. Blessings and Joy, Joy

Missing Mom

An adoptee friend of mine alerted me to this article that is an interview of Scott Simon. It touches upon an interesting tangential or is it potential argument for adopting based upon the environment. The title of the article is NPR’s Scott Simon on Adoption and Environmentalism. Before I go any further, I’ll quickly answer that part – the interviewer mentions reading the book and coming across this passage: “Adopting a child to prove something is not a healthy motivation. I would seriously consider alerting the authorities if I heard a prospective parent say, ‘We want to adopt because it’s the most environmentally responsible thing to do.  Don’t want to increase our carbon footprint, after all!’ ”

I give Simon and his wife some credit for trying assisted reproduction first. I don’t know how far that went with that effort beyond the most traditional and conventional method of invitro…

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Rooted in Adoption: A Collection of Adoptee Reflections

Several weeks ago I was approached and asked if I wanted to contribute to a book that someone was considering writing. Or taking our stories and making into a book, would be a more exact way of putting it. Not having any experience in collaborating on a book of adoptee contributions, I thought I would do some research and see if anyone had done it already. And so I discovered the collection of adoptee reflections “Rooted in Adoption” by Veronica Breaux and Shelby Kilgore.

I have only read a few pages of it, but I was hooked from the very first words written in the foreword, which was written by Jules Alvarado MA LPC, a healing expert in the field of trauma. She sums up my grief that I wrote about in How does an adoptee start grieving?

“The experience of the adopted child is often overlooked. We celebrate completing families. We have big adoption parties that fail to realize the devastation, suffering, longing and primal loss of the child at the centre of attention”

I think I am going to enjoy as well as be challenged to read this small book. It has less than 100 pages, but each page holds a nugget of wisdom, of honesty and of pain. Written by adoptees who have their unique story to tell of relinquishment, adoption, pain and healing, as they explore what the whole process has done to them as individual people.

The very first sentence in the book, even before we got to the foreword says:

“To adoptees, some of the strongest people with the most beautiful souls. We lost so much, yet we continue to give. Thank you for sharing your experiences with the world.

I know that this book will bless me.

Flourish Reflections Part ?

OK I’ll start with an admission. I don’t actually know how many weeks there have been of flourish, but we have reached the end of four months together, or a third of the way through the year. Some weeks have been very tough going, but today we had a lighter session. We were asked about “Living the Dream”.

Q Imagine you are in full ownership of your life, at the wheel, in the driver’s seat. What car are you driving? Who’s in the car with you? What three things do you throw out the window as you drive into your best life? Where do you go first? What song is playing?

Well the first thought was that my car is actually a chariot, like Boudicca’s, fighting for the freedoms of the people, from the oppressors. It was more like a past life regression, but it is what came to mind, so I went with it. I am alone in my chariot, but I am surrounded by like-minded people, all who want common law reinstated. The freedom to chose who you see, what you do and understand that you body is your body and only you get to chose which risks you take with it, who you allow to penetrate it, and what with. We do not judge those who prefer to stay at home in the farms, we cannot all be warriors. There is nothing to throw away that has already gone, warriors take little into battle, all things in the chariot are necessary. Any un-necessary item would go flying, in the heat of the battle, but to be unprepared is equally folly. Preparation is key to ensure that the load in the chariot is what is needed to take up the mantle. Nothing more, nothing less. The best life is one where freedom is not a dream but a reality. Free to wander, freedom of speech, freedom in bodily autonomy . First I go to the troops, to plan and communicate the plan, forewarned is forearmed. To inspire confidence that this is a battle worth fighting for, that some will die for the cause, but without it, we are all dead, even if we survive. The song is a rallying cry, Flower of Scotland, Scotland’s National Anthem, which will get the blood surging through the veins of all those who accompany me on this journey.

This post has little to do with adoption and I am not quite sure of it’s relevance, but it has great parallels for where I am in life right now. We have a fight on in our country, and embracing the courage of Boudicca is certainly something that I would encourage to all who have taken on the fight to support our freedoms in this country. Our Party Election Broadcast can be seen here.

Maybe my next post will be a reflection on this post and I will allow my imagination to run riot, as I jump into the car of my dreams and drive into the sunset.

Blessings and Joy, Joy