Journeying

To Journey ..a Pilgrim-1

I have been back from my Kilimajaro trip for almost 2 months, and I have not writen much onmy blog about it. For now I am going to leave you with this quote.

Blessings

Joy

Anonymous Donor with Big Message

_All journeys have secret destinations of which the traveller is unaware_ Martin Buber

Having a last minute gin here. 5 hours and I leave home to go up a big hill.I wonder what secret destinations are going to be revealed?

Namaste

Joy

Good Grief: 29 Years and Counting

Grief 29 years

Grief

It struck me today, that I have spent half of my life grieving over my stillborn son. How did that happen? I was 29 then, and 58 now. That’s half my life!

Some years have been easier than others. For some reason this year has not been a good one. There have been days in February that I have just curled up under a duvet and slept. I can’t even say it was a hygge day, as no reading, film watching or hot chocolate was involved.

I came across this poem which sums it up nicely. Credit to Laura Ding-Edwards of Herefordshire

 

If the mountain seems to big today

then climb a hill instead

if the morning brings you sadness

then stay in bed instead

if the day ahead weighs heavy

and your plans feel like a curse

there’s no shame in rearranging

don’t make yourself feel worse

if a shower stings like needles

and a bath as if you’ll drown

if you haven’t washed your hair for days

don’t throw away your crown

a day is not a lifetime

a rest is not defeat

don’t think of it as failure

just a quiet nice retreat

it’s okay to take a moment

from an anxious fractured mind

the world will not stop turning

while you get realigned

the mountain will still be there

when you want to try again

you can climb it in your own time

just love yourself til then.

 

My mountain climbing training has taken a bit of a back seat, for a day or two. Tomorrow is the anniversary, and being a Tuesday, it should be a hill-walking day with the group. I will see how I feel, that is all I can hope for.

If you have been upset by this post, then please take care of yourself, and be kind to yourself.

Blessings

Joy

Act Now

How many periods in time do you think you have any influence over?

The answer is 1, NOW, the present.

If you like where you are now, if you like what you are doing, that’s great, you are likley to be a happy contented individual. However if the reverse is true, you are not happy where you are, nor what you are doing, then you can take action NOW, in the present.

We have no idea what will happen in the future, we can make plans for it, and we should, because otherwise life happens TO us, we are not in control of what happens, but ultimately the future, can go against our plans. Have you ever made a plan, only for it to be affected by the weather, or by someone else pulling out, or not doing what you thought they would? I certainly have.

Equally, you cannot change the past. You can change how you feel about it, you can chose to let go of the bad feelings that remind you of how you felt about incidents that happened to you in the past, but you cannot change the events of the past.

So what are you doing now, in the present that you don’t like? Do you like your job? Do you surround yourself with people that you would rather not have around you?

I set you a challenge to change it now, today, this very moment in the present, take a step, and let me know where it takes you on your journey. Follow me and see where my steps take me.

Namaste

JoyEvery Journey Single Step

Bewitched v Bewildered

The nice thing about the daily prompt, is the quick association that I have to songs, songs that I have no idea what 99% of the lyrics are. Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered is just 1 example.

After 1 whole quart of brandy I can think of other words that would describe how I would be feeling; How about Sick Spinning and Puking? Unconscious, Out Cold and Desperate?

What 3 words would you use to describe how you would feel after drinking a whole quart of brandy?

Namaste

Theme Reveal for AtoZ Challenge

My theme for this years A to Z Challenge is The Transformation of a Jelly Baby the journey from my Couch to 10k. My reasons can be read on an earlier post, so I won’t repeat myself. Head on over and read the why of this years theme.

Look forward to blogging with you in April.

Jog on

Joy

doing-today-closer-tomorrow

Secrets and Turmoil

Period Costume Drama Versailles Pilgrims ProgressI happily admit that I am a bit of a costume period drama addict, and the most recent 1 that I am catching up on is Versailles, the story of the Sun King Louis XIV of France, the BBCs latest. It has been on about 5 weeks now, but I always seem to miss it when it is on the Beeb, and I am  watching it on catch-up. I am on episode 2. Episode 1 ends with the Queen giving birth to her second child, a girl, who also happens to be, lets just say, not the same skin tone as the King. And here, for me, the problem starts, although there was obviously problems in the royal marriage of at least 9 months gestation.

In the second episode, we see a funeral, a pretence, a show, to everyone around the court and the country and to it’s neighbours, the Dutch, that there has been another story, the story of a still-birth. Most of the court is unaware of what has happened, they are grieving the death of the Royal Princess, unknowing that the child is alive and well, and being nursed by a blind wet-nurse.

How many times in our lives does something happen that we did not want to happen, and then we invent stories to cover up the truth?

When I attended my Mother’s funeral, the lies that she had told to her friends began to become  much clearer to me. The reason that she had kept me at arms length at events that I would have liked to have been invited to, became much clearer. She had lied about my life, she had lied about who my father was, she had told stories to those around her, and she had to keep the pretence up.

There is a line in the 2nd episode, it goes “Don’t you understand how rumours start? Silence only fuels the fire” If people are not told the truth, then they make up their own.

I find myself watching Versailles and thinking about the political turmoil in the current situation in the UK and the EU. History really doesn’t change that much. Costume does, but not the human story behind it, the power, the way women have used their charm and beauty to get what they want, the power hungry men (and women) and the death and destruction that powerful people leave in their wake.