Symbols have been used throughout millenia to show that someone beleongs to a certain tribe or group. I recently discovered that there is a symbol that stands for adoption as posted recently in the post adoption symbol part 1. Many people who have been adopted seem keen to have it as a tattoo. Others are vociferous in their rejection of it. That topic will be covered in another post. For now I would like to share with you some thoughts on the adoption symbol and some ideas for others, that may be more appropriate.
When I saw the adoption symbol, my first thought is that my childhood and subsequent traumas and traversties would be best symbolised by a see saw, with myself playing the pivot, whilst the 2 sets of parents were at either end of the plank, being carefully balanced on the shoulders of the child. The heart of the child is patched together, barely holding together through the pain of rejection and abandonment. As an adopted adult, I was very much aware of my parents feelings about the 2 adults who had given their child up for adoption. Much as I wanted to learn more about my roots and my genetics, I was also aware of sounding ungrateful to the family that had taken me in, and raised me as their own.
Thinking deeper, and taking the triangle as a representation of the dynamics, I realised that in no way were they equilateral. The child, or more commonly, the baby, is taken with no reference to it’s personal choice. It is taken from one set of parents and given to another, pure and simple. One set cannot or does not want the child, the other set does. A simple solution to a complex societal problem. One family is not complete, whilst a fractured family has a piece missing from it’s heart.Society has always appeared to think that the family that can give the child more than another family can, has got to be the best solution for a child. When did anyone ever stop to think how the child may feel in years to come.
So the triangle needs to be one of unequal proportion in it’s side lengths. You get to chose which side signifies who?
Blessings and Joy, Joy
This post is written by aspiring author Joy Smith who is currently writing her memoir about Finding Joy. As she explores her feelings around her adoption, the effect it had on her growing up, and life long healing from it, she shares insights as she researches the topic, and applies it to life, for her health and happiness.