Tears Fell, Blurring Our Vision

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View from Our Bedroom at the B&B

This week has gone by in a bit of a blur. It started on Monday morning at 7 am, with a call from the hospital where my Mother in Law had been since Christmas. The nursing staff had found her un-responsive and they had called to inform us that they were keeping her under observation. Half an hour later they rang again, this time to inform us that she was being transferred over to the A&E department of the general hospital. The rest of the day is pretty raw in my mind.

The 3 brothers all managed to be at the hospital, accompanied by their 3 wives, together, to hear the Consultant tell us that this was “End of Life Care” She had suffered a major stroke and that their focus was now not in treating her but to keep her comfortable.

The family kept a vigil around her bedside for the rest of that day and through the night, before she peacefully passed away early Tuesday morning.

The week then progressed with visits to the hospital to collect paperwork to enable the death to be registered, to funeral directors to arrange a funeral, hours on the phone to various people, some to notify her passing, others to arrange equipment that had been on loan, such as hospital beds and other equipment designed to make caring for a loved one at home, easier on the carers.

I managed just 2 visits to the gym, I think my legs thanked me for that.

By Thursday my husband had had enough and just wanted to get way for the weekend and chill. I was left to make the arrangements. We are in an enviable part of the world, with Loch Lomond within a 2 hour drive, but after many hours searching the internet for a room for 2 nights, I was unable to find a vacant room, so one night when I couldn’t sleep, I came across a B&B in the Trossachs. It was all he had asked for, quiet, somewhere he could sit and relax and contemplate.

So after a stressful week, we drove away from it all, to spend a weekend in a remote place where the view from our bedroom was divine. This morning, we woke to an absolute still morning, where the surface of the loch was a millpond, the reflection in perfect symettry. The view of the ridge was a bit blurred, but it revealed itself at times as the mist lifted, much as our vision became clearer when the tears which flowed, abated.

Training for the 10k was achieved mainly by walking in this beautiful landscape

I hope your week has been slightly better than mine.

Thank you for reading, and if you have been affected by death at any point I would love to know how you are dealing with it.

Blessings Joy x

via Daily Prompt: Blur

Hygge on a Lukewarm Day

Some days you jump out of bed shouting “Carpe Diem” and others you pull the covers over your head and have a “hygge experience” as explained so succinctly by Suzie of Suzie Speaks. Today was the latter. There is a reason for feeling lukewarm about today, and if you are upset my sad stories then I urge you not to read any further than this.

Today is the day that my son should be celebrating his 27th birthday. But for whatever reason he chose, my son’s soul did not want to hang around on this planet. It entered this earthly plane and left it straight away. I manage to survive because I believe his soul chose me, a strong woman, to have that experience.

So forgive me if I am lukewarm today. Forgive me if I fail to see the funny side, the awe in nature, nor want to entertain or hold an intelligent conversation about mulit-million dollar questions.

Today is a day for embracing the simple things in life. Curling up on a sofa, watching the rain run in rivulets down the windowpane as I feel the tears do the same down my cheek. It is a day to soak in a bath, breathing deep the aromas of clary sage and jasmine. Oils that I know will bring forth more tears. Yesterday I heard about the death of a gentleman who has gone to be with his Maker. He was not my father, but he showed me fatherly love. It warms my heart to think that my son and this man will find each other, and that my son now has a guide in spirit with him. It warms me a little to reminisce group-outside-church

Tomorrow is also likely to be a day where I feel lukewarm. Over the coming days, as the days lengthen and signs of spring can be seen, I will begin to warm up, like the crocus that pops it’s head up out of the soil, the colour will return to my life. But for now, it’s an oxtail stew with dumplings for dinner, a cuddle on the sofa, wrapped up warm and snuggled with a man who understands me. The simple things in life.

Be kind to yourself

Thank you for reading

Blessings Joy

Holiday Saga

My husband and I met 10 years ago, online, that was in 2006. That year he took his mother and 2 children on holiday. So the holiday saga begins.

In 2007 he took his Mother and 2 children on holiday. I moved 400 miles to be with him, but bought my own property 1 mile down the road and moved with my 11 year old daughter.

In 2008 he took his Mother and 2 children on holiday.

In 2009 he took me and my daughter on holiday.

In 2010 we got married, and had a 4 day honeymoon.

In 2011 we took his Mother on holiday

In 2012 we took his Mother on holiday

In 2013 we planned to take his Mother on holiday, but she broke her leg just days before we were due to go. His children came on holiday with us, as they were going to stay with thier gran whilst my husband and I went away for a few days.

In 2013 I went on holiday with my husband and step-children both aged 20 something. Hubby and I did manage a few days away, pictures shown here.

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In 2014 my husband and I went on our first holiday, just the 2 of us, in 7 years of knowing him.

In 2015 we had our second holiday on our own.

In 2015 we took his Mother on holiday.

In 2016 we are taking his Mother on holiday.

Does anybody else have this saga, of their husband having had more holidays with his Mother than his wife in the past 10 years, just wondering? Appreciate your thoughts on this.

Blessings Joy