Deeds not Words, subtitle: Willing to Sacrifice


On Thursday 5th May 2016 it was polling day here in the UK. Emmeline Pankhurst, more commonly known as Mrs Pankhurst, was the leader of the Women’s Suffrage Movement in the UK, and campaigned for Women’s Rights from 1889 until her death in 1928, and has always been a bit of a heroine of mine. Perhaps that gives my reader a little bit of an insight into who I am. I am not interested in keeping those in authority happy and going along with what they say, if I feel that what they are doing does not have the best interest of the people at heart. I am a rebel, but unlike Emmeline I do try and fight my corner using words, not violence.Got what it Takes

Thursday 5th May 2016 was also the day that I received an email from a so called friend. I will paraphrase:

However, from a personal perspective, I was very disappointed ………………. your actions thereafter, and your continued persistence in trying to lay blame. I feel this has impacted on our friendship, I now feel very uncomfortable and therefore do not wish to enter into any further discussion.

What had I done to deserve this? Well I had pointed out to a Committee that the handing over of personal information to a third party, without the people concerned checking their personal data and agreeing that it was correct, was in fact, not good practice. I had in mind the interest of the 100 or so members of the group, I was not concerend about upsetting the Committee. Sound familiar?

Was I trying to blame someone? No I was asking that “someone” to take the Responsibilty of their actions. I have a sneaking suspicion of who that person might be, but the Committee were closing ranks.

“I feel that this has impacted on our friendship”

Wow now let me reflect on that!

I have known this person for about a year. I have discussed personal issues with her once or twice, but felt that our relationship was more of a friendly-business one, if there is such a thing. So when I read “it has impacted on our friendship” I was led to reflect on them.

1 My friends are people with whom I can tell the truth, and still remain friends.

2 My friends are people who I can hear the truth from, and still remain friends.

3 My friends might not necessarily agree with my point of view, but we remain friends.

4 I might not agree with my friends point of view, but I tend to agree that my freind is acting morally and ethically right, and it is a difference of opinion that we have, and we remain friends.

In this instance however, I believe that this person has chosen to side with those who abused their power of trust, by releasing my personal information to a third party without my say so. This led to my personal priavte mobile number being publicised on a public website. I do not consider that the act of a friend, do you? Or if they are a friend, they apologise for their part that they played in it, and take responsibilty for it. That I would consider an act of friendship.

The sacrifice of this so-called friendship is not one that I have lost sleep over. The circumstances over the loss of the friendship is one that I am still considering.

Have you ever sacrificed a friend over similar circumstances. Do you have any thoughts over what you have read here? I would embrace any comments or discussion.

Blessings to my friends who have read so far.

Joy

PS I have made 1 or 2 small adjustments to make this post eligible for the postaday on Sacrifice, rather than write a complete new one.

 

 

 

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2 thoughts on “Deeds not Words, subtitle: Willing to Sacrifice

  1. Sounds to me like your privacy has been breached. That’s neither respectful nor good practice. When I was working we were not allowed to give out private details about anyone without that person’s permission. What we could do, and this is common practice, is to take down the name and number of whoever is requesting the information, and pass it on to the relevant person for their consideration/action. Giving out confidential information can potentially have dire consequences. A friend of mine had her mbl ph number given out by a cemetery without her permission to her brother. He has a delusional thing about their mother’s grave which he blames her for. She had just changed ph numbers because of him and specifically asked it not be given out to him. He is a violent drug addict who, when using, threatens her, and her family’s life. The thoughtless action of the cemetery staff meant he contacted her and threatened her life.Again. It created a lot of unnecessary fear, required her to change her ph no yet again, call the police to inform them, comfort her very young and fearful children etc etc etc. You are in the right. This person, whoever it is, is dare I say, is not a very good friend.How do they know what possible consequences there may be just by the simple act of giving out your ph number ? Sorry, this is a bit of a long rant, but I just wanted to underscore the importance of confidentiality and privacy. There are good reasons for it.

  2. Thank you, I know that my privacy has been breached and I find it incredible to find that the Committee cannot see what they have done, and are trying to exclude me, thinking that that is the end of it. However they will see that I am made of firmer stuff, and am considering how I go about getting them to take responsibilty for their actions. As for the “friend” I am not crying over the loss. I pray peace on your friend who had her peace disturbed by her brother. Blessings Joy

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